Reimagining the Idea of Soulmates

We have always dreamed of Belle and the Beast as soulmates. Who are actual soulmates? How can we even decide that a specific person is our soulmate? The idea that each one of us yearns for a soulmate is extremely romanticized. Statistics show us that 73% of Americans believe in soulmates. Generally, men are more inclined to accept the idea of soulmates when compared to women.

 

Mature couple cycling in residential neighborhood

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Researcher Raymond Knee and his colleagues performed a study that essentially researched the idea of soulmates. They concluded that people believe in soulmates because of two reasons: Destiny beliefs and Growth beliefs. Their study concluded, “People who believe in soulmates are more likely to break up, give up, and have difficult relationships.” People who believe in soulmates tend to question their choice more. They think about how they could have ended up with someone else and who would be better. They question themselves again and again. This loop gets extremely toxic, and as the research concluded, people start overthinking which leads to arguments in their present relationships. People who believe in soulmates “spend their energy and time looking for that person instead of cultivating existing relationships.”

People are not perfect. The idea of soulmates revolves around perfectionism which is extremely hard to find in this world. Therefore, you need to invest your energy and efforts in your present relationships so that you grow into the person you want to see as your soulmate. It is a mutual effort and it is necessary that both of you grow together and flourish. Psychologist Andrew Machete explains this as, “When you love someone, you grow for them, you grow with them, you change together.” A true soulmate is someone that motivates you to be a better version of yourself so that you both equally flourish in all spheres of life.