Renaming Everyday Objects

Have you ever wondered where things got their names from, or who decided to call them that? Some things like newspapers have very literal names, so what would the world be like if more things were named literally? Well, people have been very creative about this and we’ve brought you the best new names that you’ll definitely want to start using instead of the originals.

Let’s start off with some well-beloved animals. An easy one is sheep, because let’s be honest, they just look like ‘land clouds’. Zebras, however, should really be called ‘prison ponies’, or maybe ‘barcode cows’. And speaking of cattle, goats could easily be called ‘wizard cows’ and they’d get away with it. Rhinos really just look like ‘curvy unicorns’, and sloths are essentially just ‘slow-motion gorillas’. Birds are no different either, with so many different ones masquerading as other species. There are ‘street chickens’ (pigeons), ‘beach chickens’ (seagulls), and even ‘formal chickens’ (penguins). And their feathers? Well they’re just ‘bird leaves’.

Getty Images / Moment / sakchai vongsasiripat

Now we’ll move on to food and drink. The most basic thing we consume every day is water, or don’t you mean ‘snowman blood’? For breakfast, you may choose to have ‘bagel seeds’ (cheerios) with ‘cereal juice’ (milk), and maybe some ‘raw toast’ (bread) with ‘bread moisturizer’ (butter). You’d probably eat the latter on a ‘2D bowl’ (plate), or wrap it up in some ‘metal paper’ (aluminum foil) to take to work. But don’t forget to take your ‘hand shoes’ (gloves) if it’s cold, and some comfy shoes for your ‘floor hands’ (feet).

What about things that are all around us every day? Ever noticed the sun is simple just a ‘space bulb’, or that a bath is a ‘reverse boat’. A couch is a ‘human shelf’ and the front door is really just a ‘house mouth’. When you pop in your car for your next road trip, you might have an old-school playlist on a ‘musical donut’ (CD) ready to jam as you drive along the ‘car carpet’ (road). Whether you’re doing laundry or blowing up balloons, what other literal names can you come up with?